I call him Diaper Doody Dad!
(Get it? Duty? Doody? HA!)
A színek életem. The colors of my life.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Sweet Deal!
I'd like to take some time to publicly humiliate my husband by bragging a little about him ;) Back when I was pregnant with Lilly, I had a rare pregnancy-related illness called "Hyperemesis Gravidarum" (meaning I experienced unrelenting vomiting until it resulted in complications of dehydration and severe malnutrition.) I told him that if I was even close to being that sick with our next pregnancy, that he had to change all the dirty diapers to save me from an additional reason to throw up. To my sweet surprise, he took me seriously and we made a deal! Well, now that we're expecting another baby, I reminded him of this deal and told him I was sticking to it. Sure enough, he's been a man of his word and except for the day of his birthday this last week (and while he's at work, of course) he has changed every dirty diaper of Lilly's so I didn't have to. I'd say I'm a VERY lucky girl to have scored the kind of husband I did! Don't worry honey- four months down, only five more to go! Hehe. Myyyyy Herrrroooo :)
Friday, October 19, 2012
No fair :(
I am signing a petition and sending it to Heaven telling God that I think it's highly unfair to allow women to get any kind of illness on top of pregnancy! Last Sunday we spent the day in Heber with my family and my nephew had one of those out of control runny noses.. I thought, "Great.. Lilly is totally going to get sick," because we all know that little kids share germs like no other, making it especially inevitable when they're sharing toys. Sure enough, the next day Lilly woke up with the same runny nose. The morning after that, David said his throat was hurting him. Guess what? The morning after THAT I woke up with a stuffy nose AND sore throat. Yippee. One of those extra fun things about pregnancy is that your immune system is pretty much shot, making me get the worst of all ends of the cold. I feel like a really bad mom in the morning when Lilly wakes up and I make her play in her crib until an hour later when I feel capable of falling out of bed, groggily picking her up and filling a bottle with milk before I collapse on the couch with a roll of toilet paper by my side. I think it's pretty fair to ask God to lighten up on the health related trials when I already feel like (or actually do) throw up 24/7, pee every 20 minutes, my back and hips are constantly out-of-wack making it really hard to walk, and have a terrible nights sleep every night because of these things. Now, I'm forced to breathe out of my mouth, which makes my nausea way worse and am sure my nose is going to start bleeding if I don't start blowing it into a cloud here pretty soon. All in all, pregnancy is hard and different for every girl. On top of all the changes and weird issues, I think it's fair to ask that annoying colds and such be exiled until AFTER the baby is outside of our bodies. Feel free to sign your name and add any comments you'd like me to send along with the letter, thanks!
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Understanding/Changing
Today, I'm going to write more of a journal entry about something I feel very strongly about. This information is quite personal, but I hope that those who read it will also make the same goal as myself - to try to be more understanding and forgiving of others - because we don't always know what they may be struggling with.
Most of the people I interact with on a daily basis today are people I've known for two years or less. That's because the majority of my new friends, are my new family! I have been so blessed to marry into a family that enjoys being together, eating together, and celebrating together so often. As much as I love everyone and this dynamic of their lives, I get discouraged because I grew up in a family quite different than David's. My family (the Czirbans) are beautiful, wonderful people, and I have always had an intense love for my parents and siblings. I am number 6 of 7 children - 6 girls and 1 boy. Since I can remember, we haven't spent holidays with our extended family, and now that my parents are empty-nesters, we rarely get-together as siblings to spend time together and catch up. For some reason, God instilled a unique personality within me, where I've always felt comfortable telling people I love them, giving hugs, and expressing my feelings openly. I say that is unique because growing up, most members of my family were not this way. Because of my need for constant affirmation of love, it was easy to become discouraged about family members, or more so about myself. I have a tendency to turn inward and personalize things that may not have been meant to do any damage.
When I became a teenager, I noticed my outward personality change from a bright countenance to one that was nearly impenetrable by hope or love. As my moods steadily sunk deeper I chose to be pro-active and began seeing a therapist. Luckily for me, after trying only two counselors out, I found a woman who I felt comfortable with. Keep in mind I was only 13 at this time. As we met and uncovered many issues I needed to work through, she diagnosed me with two (devastating yet validating to me) mental disorders. The first being Dysthymia. This disorder is a chronic depression which occurs in approximately 5% of the general population and affects women more often than men. It is usually passed down genetically (which happens to be the case in my family.) and is a constant state of low or dark moods, instead of the rollercoaster affect many other types of depression cause. People with Dysthymia have low self-esteem and problems seem harder to solve than they are in actuality.
The second disorder I was diagnosed with is Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia. It seems pretty self explanatory, but goes much deeper than most people probably expect. S.A.D. is "characterized by intense fear in social situations causing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life." ...it "involves a persistent, intense, chronic fear of being judged by others and of being embarrassed or humiliated by one's own actions." There are many physical side effects that correlate such as (listing ones I personally struggle with) blushing, sweating, panic attacks, heart race, and avoiding social interaction in general. Often times this leads to coping mechanisms that are harmful and addictive in a wide range, which I have also struggled for years with.
The point of me publicizing such personal issues is that I hope people who interact with me may understand a little bit more about why I am the way I am. If I have offended you or bothered you in anyway, especially if it be by how self-conscious I am, by my obsessions with vanity, by choosing not to participate in a game you've chosen to play, if I have "bailed" on plans with you, or have avoided a friendship that could have taken place, I'm truly sorry and am working everyday to overcome my struggles.
In learning to understand myself, I have been taught that I need to be as kind and understanding to others as I would hope they'd be to me. No one's family is perfect. No individual is perfect and we are all struggling with different addictions, disorders and trials. I can only hope that by changing myself, I can see a change in the world. That I can be of more service to those around me. That I'll be more aware of the needs of others. That my tongue will be used to bless lives instead of as a sword. I hope that if I have wronged you, that you may find it in your heart to forgive me, and that I too may become a more forgiving person.
Most of the people I interact with on a daily basis today are people I've known for two years or less. That's because the majority of my new friends, are my new family! I have been so blessed to marry into a family that enjoys being together, eating together, and celebrating together so often. As much as I love everyone and this dynamic of their lives, I get discouraged because I grew up in a family quite different than David's. My family (the Czirbans) are beautiful, wonderful people, and I have always had an intense love for my parents and siblings. I am number 6 of 7 children - 6 girls and 1 boy. Since I can remember, we haven't spent holidays with our extended family, and now that my parents are empty-nesters, we rarely get-together as siblings to spend time together and catch up. For some reason, God instilled a unique personality within me, where I've always felt comfortable telling people I love them, giving hugs, and expressing my feelings openly. I say that is unique because growing up, most members of my family were not this way. Because of my need for constant affirmation of love, it was easy to become discouraged about family members, or more so about myself. I have a tendency to turn inward and personalize things that may not have been meant to do any damage.
When I became a teenager, I noticed my outward personality change from a bright countenance to one that was nearly impenetrable by hope or love. As my moods steadily sunk deeper I chose to be pro-active and began seeing a therapist. Luckily for me, after trying only two counselors out, I found a woman who I felt comfortable with. Keep in mind I was only 13 at this time. As we met and uncovered many issues I needed to work through, she diagnosed me with two (devastating yet validating to me) mental disorders. The first being Dysthymia. This disorder is a chronic depression which occurs in approximately 5% of the general population and affects women more often than men. It is usually passed down genetically (which happens to be the case in my family.) and is a constant state of low or dark moods, instead of the rollercoaster affect many other types of depression cause. People with Dysthymia have low self-esteem and problems seem harder to solve than they are in actuality.
The second disorder I was diagnosed with is Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia. It seems pretty self explanatory, but goes much deeper than most people probably expect. S.A.D. is "characterized by intense fear in social situations causing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life." ...it "involves a persistent, intense, chronic fear of being judged by others and of being embarrassed or humiliated by one's own actions." There are many physical side effects that correlate such as (listing ones I personally struggle with) blushing, sweating, panic attacks, heart race, and avoiding social interaction in general. Often times this leads to coping mechanisms that are harmful and addictive in a wide range, which I have also struggled for years with.
The point of me publicizing such personal issues is that I hope people who interact with me may understand a little bit more about why I am the way I am. If I have offended you or bothered you in anyway, especially if it be by how self-conscious I am, by my obsessions with vanity, by choosing not to participate in a game you've chosen to play, if I have "bailed" on plans with you, or have avoided a friendship that could have taken place, I'm truly sorry and am working everyday to overcome my struggles.
In learning to understand myself, I have been taught that I need to be as kind and understanding to others as I would hope they'd be to me. No one's family is perfect. No individual is perfect and we are all struggling with different addictions, disorders and trials. I can only hope that by changing myself, I can see a change in the world. That I can be of more service to those around me. That I'll be more aware of the needs of others. That my tongue will be used to bless lives instead of as a sword. I hope that if I have wronged you, that you may find it in your heart to forgive me, and that I too may become a more forgiving person.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Lilly is getting a little....
Exactly a week ago, we were able to find out the gender of our new baby! My mom drove down and took David, Lilly and I out for lunch at the Olive Garden, then we all met with David's mom at the doctor's office. I was so nervous they would tell me I wasn't actually 16 weeks along and that I'd have to come back in a week or two when the baby was further developed or something. David had made a poll on Facebook asking whether our friends and family thought we'd get a boy or a girl. At first, it seemed like everyone wanted us to have a boy just because we already have a girl, but David and I were really hoping for Lilly to have a little sister! After the votes were tallied, it was directly even - 50% said boy and 50% said girl. Even though we both "felt" like it was going to be a boy, we had thought of numerous girl names and only one boy name to agree on. Only a few seconds after the ultrasound began, we could all identify what gender the baby was without the technician even telling us. It was another little girl!
I don't know how I did it, but I managed to keep our secret until 3 days later when we held a gender announcement get-together with anyone that wanted to join us. David and I made white cupcakes filled with bright pink batter then had everyone close their eyes and take a bite. Most of the people were very surprised which made for fun reactions.
We couldn't be more excited for our sweet girl to join our family around March 28th, 2013. Lilly is going to love having a playmate! David's out-numbered 3 to 1 now. Maybe our next baby will be a boy to carry on David's family name... the pressure is on! :) I think for now I'll focus on not throwing up and taking naps when Lilly's asleep. Pretty soon I won't have that kind of luxury!
I don't know how I did it, but I managed to keep our secret until 3 days later when we held a gender announcement get-together with anyone that wanted to join us. David and I made white cupcakes filled with bright pink batter then had everyone close their eyes and take a bite. Most of the people were very surprised which made for fun reactions.
We couldn't be more excited for our sweet girl to join our family around March 28th, 2013. Lilly is going to love having a playmate! David's out-numbered 3 to 1 now. Maybe our next baby will be a boy to carry on David's family name... the pressure is on! :) I think for now I'll focus on not throwing up and taking naps when Lilly's asleep. Pretty soon I won't have that kind of luxury!
Temple Sealing + Surprise!
On September 16th, 2012 David, Lilly and I had the opportunity to be sealed for time and all eternity in the Manti, Utah Temple. We chose Manti (even though it was two hours away) because we met at Snow College in Ephraim, just a few miles down the road. I guess we're sentimental like that ;)
What a big day! For a long time I never thought I would, but hoped I could get to a place in my life to be worthy of a temple marriage (or sealing). It takes a lot of hard work and dedication, but I think if your heart truly longs to do what's right to get your family to the temple, it becomes much easier. The biggest change I had to make was getting in the habit of reading my scriptures at night with David. It doesn't seem very difficult, but David and I are night owls and tend to stay up all night then crash into bed with not an ounce of energy left in us.. leaving it really hard to stay awake to read a chapter aloud, then say family prayers, then personal prayers. We're still not perfect at it, but I think we've taken great strides to be better people, to form better habits, and to try just a little harder to become the people Heavenly Father hopes we'll become.
The day of our sealing was also my first time going through the temple, outside of doing baptisms when I was younger. It was a flurry of excitement, nerves, knew knowledge, and many, many, many emotions! I cried... a lot... haha, but when David and I were in the sealing room with all our loved ones there to support us, the most beautiful feelings swept over me. Then, when our sweet daughter Lillian was also sealed to us, the strongest most magnificent love for her and my own little family overwhelmed me (that's when I REALLY lost it...) haha. It was a very sweet ceremony.
After we took a few pictures on phones, we headed back to Orem to get ready for our little dinner celebration at David's grandmother's home. We had grilled pineapple, chicken kabobs with peppers and onions, and tariyaki rice. YUM. Many of our family members and best friends were there so we thought it'd be a great time for a surprise to be unveiled! Before we blessed the food, David thanked everyone who was there to support our family of four being sealed that day, then slightly motioned to my stomach. Family of four?! Yep! We are having another baby!! That made our day a little extra special :)
There's no better feeling than knowing that my family will be together forever. Before being sealed, I couldn't have imagined the difference I'd feel in my home or the increased desire I have to make right choices for myself that will also lead my children to choose the right. I love David, Lilly and baby #2 with more love than I could ever have thought possible. Families are beautiful. There's nothing more fulfilling or rewarding than having and being part of your own, unique family. And I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for giving me such sweet ones to love and care for! <3
What a big day! For a long time I never thought I would, but hoped I could get to a place in my life to be worthy of a temple marriage (or sealing). It takes a lot of hard work and dedication, but I think if your heart truly longs to do what's right to get your family to the temple, it becomes much easier. The biggest change I had to make was getting in the habit of reading my scriptures at night with David. It doesn't seem very difficult, but David and I are night owls and tend to stay up all night then crash into bed with not an ounce of energy left in us.. leaving it really hard to stay awake to read a chapter aloud, then say family prayers, then personal prayers. We're still not perfect at it, but I think we've taken great strides to be better people, to form better habits, and to try just a little harder to become the people Heavenly Father hopes we'll become.
The day of our sealing was also my first time going through the temple, outside of doing baptisms when I was younger. It was a flurry of excitement, nerves, knew knowledge, and many, many, many emotions! I cried... a lot... haha, but when David and I were in the sealing room with all our loved ones there to support us, the most beautiful feelings swept over me. Then, when our sweet daughter Lillian was also sealed to us, the strongest most magnificent love for her and my own little family overwhelmed me (that's when I REALLY lost it...) haha. It was a very sweet ceremony.
After we took a few pictures on phones, we headed back to Orem to get ready for our little dinner celebration at David's grandmother's home. We had grilled pineapple, chicken kabobs with peppers and onions, and tariyaki rice. YUM. Many of our family members and best friends were there so we thought it'd be a great time for a surprise to be unveiled! Before we blessed the food, David thanked everyone who was there to support our family of four being sealed that day, then slightly motioned to my stomach. Family of four?! Yep! We are having another baby!! That made our day a little extra special :)
There's no better feeling than knowing that my family will be together forever. Before being sealed, I couldn't have imagined the difference I'd feel in my home or the increased desire I have to make right choices for myself that will also lead my children to choose the right. I love David, Lilly and baby #2 with more love than I could ever have thought possible. Families are beautiful. There's nothing more fulfilling or rewarding than having and being part of your own, unique family. And I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for giving me such sweet ones to love and care for! <3
The gorgeous Manti, Utah Temple
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Writers Block
So, I guess the last time I posted something new was in January of this year... and there's a reason for it.
Here's a little personal insight on my insecurities. I'm very good at journal keeping and enjoy expressing my feelings, opinions and experiences with others, therefore I thought I'd be good at blogging. As I read many other blogs, both professional and of everyday women like myself, I became very discouraged about my writing style, my photography and overall creativity. I didn't get an education after high school, I don't especially love English, and I take pictures with a little point and shoot camera, making my blog a little more "ghetto" than so many others out there. My husband and his cousin both told me that I should keep writing and that I shouldn't compare my blog to other blogs but I was determined to delete it anyway. For some reason, I guess I didn't and now, I'm pretty glad for not doing so!
This is an introduction to a new chapter for Simona's Memory. My personal blog about family, food, fun, and lots of other random stuff :) and I'll do my best to update it often. Hope you come back to visit!
Here's a little personal insight on my insecurities. I'm very good at journal keeping and enjoy expressing my feelings, opinions and experiences with others, therefore I thought I'd be good at blogging. As I read many other blogs, both professional and of everyday women like myself, I became very discouraged about my writing style, my photography and overall creativity. I didn't get an education after high school, I don't especially love English, and I take pictures with a little point and shoot camera, making my blog a little more "ghetto" than so many others out there. My husband and his cousin both told me that I should keep writing and that I shouldn't compare my blog to other blogs but I was determined to delete it anyway. For some reason, I guess I didn't and now, I'm pretty glad for not doing so!
This is an introduction to a new chapter for Simona's Memory. My personal blog about family, food, fun, and lots of other random stuff :) and I'll do my best to update it often. Hope you come back to visit!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)